Impact Coaching

My kids woke me up this morning at 6 am which would have been great if I didn't stay up late last night reading a book I couldn't put down.  One of the TWO children's librarians at the library at the end of our block recommended it.

As you know from previous articles, reading for a boy between the ages of 8 and 10 is a big challenge.  We managed to survive on reading junk food.  As a competitive parent, however, I'm feeling nervous about middle school, especially the big testing year.  One Saturday morning, recently, my 2nd grader and I were loudly searching the children's shelves when across the room came the response from the children's librarian. I thought she was a student.  Instead, she has read every book published for kids and teens and we left with a stack of good books.

A week later, we went a bit earlier to the library and found a different children's librarian, again appearing to be just out of grade school, albeit with ear rings and tattoos.  I described my older son in detail and he recommended some of his favorite books.   He warned me that some of them were for teens.   Therefore I am reading these ahead of time to ensure the content is appropriate (my values don't match most authors or screen writers).  So far each book is better than the last.

My reading coaches are at the end of the block.

On to the GAT test.  I like to leave my best advice at the end of my article to weed out impatient readers. Impatience is taught by parents and impatient kids are at a distinct disadvantage on the test. Perhaps these parents are too busy because of all the things they have to do, things which they really need to eliminate, starting with their cell phones and social media pages.  Since this whole articles is important, I thought I'd start it after a boring preamble.

When I started my quest, all of the material I found specifically on the GAT test was prepared by people who believe that giftedness is some how hereditary or a gift.  Like it magically happens.   I can't take advice from people so stupid.   I felt like a lone survivor on a raft in a sea of morons.  I had only one person on this blog challenge the law that intelligence is 0% genetic, but just in case  I developed overwhelming crushing logic to silence those who need a little help thinking more clearly.

A few years later, I know exactly which books do what and can lay out a program for 12, 6 and 3 months for anyone.  Suppose this stack arrives in the mail.  What do you do next?  The problem for most parents is that they have no experience "teaching" or "coaching" a child through this type of material.  Worse, you only get one shot per child and you can't blow it in some cases.  In other cases, you can try every year.

I've been putting bits and pieces of coaching advice in my articles over the years.  I want to highlight the starting elements in this article.

The Books
Unless it's crunch time, the books I use cover the full range of skills and skill levels.  I always keep easy and hard, academic and skills based material for both language and math.  For lack of time, vocabulary comes in one flavor - slightly hard.  On 4 nights a week and during a double or triple session on Saturday morning, the material and my child's attention span and energy level determine what will get done.

In most cases, I encounter a problem with the material that there are only 2 types.   The first type is too easy, and the second type is way too hard.  The test prep material is too easy unless you start at age 4, but it has a different role.  Since we have a definite time limit, and this test is all about thinking skills, we're going to use the material that is too hard.  When I start this type of program with a kid for the first time, I usually just jump in with way toi hard material and 6 months of hell later use a balance.  I call this Catch Up.

The Chart
The biggest problem with the test prep program is that it has a definitive time limit.  The goal is to cram as much skill into your child's brain as possible before the test.  You might only get about 20 good minutes a day.  Your child might start out taking 20 minutes just to answer the first question. This can be unnerving for a parent.

My solution is to create a poster.  Across the top, I draw a time line ending with the test date.  Down the left side, I list all of the workbooks that I am going to use and other activities like reading/read-to and forced fun. In the row for each workbook, I'll just write all of the page numbers sequentially in the space allowed.  For something like Building Thinking skills or a COGAT test prep book, where we jump around a lot, each section gets its own row, or I draw boxes around the page numbers and mark the section.

As we go, I cross out page numbers.  I write check marks for things like forced fun (HAVE 20 MINUTES OF FUN, DARN IT!)

As the weeks go by, I can see how quickly my child is going and this calms my nerves.  Sometimes we have to adjust the  material, which I can do because I'm carefully gauging progress.  Sometimes I notice that we are going to fast and will run out.  Usually I just notice what started out as painfully slow becomes much faster over time.

The Process
This topic is going to be a series of articles on its own or you have to dig through the whole mess of my blog to find tips.

For starters, the process I assume is a parent sitting with the child coaching the whole time, checking the work.  In my experience, it takes a long time, maybe 6 to 12 months, until the child can work independently.  This is probably the biggest single benefit of my mission - redirecting parents from a myriad of distractions back to one-on-one work with their children (i.e., throw away your cell phone.).

The main benefit, over and above an increase in academic skills, is a social secure and socially effective child.  I can watch a group of children and spot a child who spends a lot of time with his parents in a matter of seconds.  Try it some time.

Next, a child working on one really hard question for 45 minutes is very powerful, doing 30 worksheet questions in 20 minutes is practically useless.

Finally, a coach is a coach.  Watch a baseball manager (go Cubs!) or a football coach standing on the side lines.  What do they actually do in terms of throwing balls or catching them?  Nothing.  In your case, this means not explaining things and not figuring things out for your child.  Just keep score and ask lots of questions.  Be like Yoda.  Let the child fail.  Don't make it painful.  Don't pressure your child.

I reserve the right to add to this article, but the cryptic coaching proverbs will end up being future articles.  For now, this summarizes my mission:

• You have a duty to build the cognitive skills of your child.  It's not going to happen in school.
• There is material out there that you need.
• You have to pace yourself.
• You have to invest lots of one-on-one time with your child.

Once you subscribe to this approach, and many, many readers have already, you are on the way to a successful child through 4th grade.  After that, you have to do it all over again at a different level with different goals.